"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -- Jeffrey Harmon Brownlow
I stay up to date with my friend Heather Bholender and her husband Jeremy Sterndale through her frequent blog. She's very faithful in updating it and I decided I should get back to mine and be faithful.
I haven't blogged in a while because it's hard. Being back in America is hard. When I blog about being back in America, I just remember blogging in India and all the joys I experienced on a daily basis. Yes I have experienced the joys of seeing old faces, old friends, eating old foods and doing old things. They do provide some happiness. I'm trying to hold on to it and remind myself that this is just where I'm going to be for awhile.
However I get the most joy from spontaneously calling my kids. I truly praise the Lord for Skype credit. It's the only way I get to regularly communicate with them. I try to call my boys especially as least twice a week and see how they are. I don't like talking on the phone with them too much because I can tell it's awkward for them. Even though I would rather hear them talk, I end up filling up all the awkward silences with all of my talking and questions and answers. But when I hear them laugh or hear them even say something it makes my heart the most happy.
I also get the most joy when I go to the store to buy them things to send them in the mail. There is nothing more reckless for me right now than shopping for my kids. I'm kinda that father who goes to the store and buys all the things that I feel that my kids would like. I actually mailed off all of the things just yesterday.
Besides calling my kids and buying them things, I'm not doing a whole lot. I'm currently in Chattanooga with some friends just passing the time away and waiting for my job to start in Florida. With all this free time upon me, I think about my kids a lot. When I dwell on what I had with them and the times that I miss the most, it makes me sad.
Very sad actually.
Because my heart's desire is to be with them. To travel to their villages and meet their families. To play uno with the boys and hear their crazy jokes and stories. To laugh with the girls and go for roaming. To see Jesus in them on a daily basis. To love and be loved by 27 Incredible children.
But then that sadness reminds me of how thankful I must be. I must be thankful and happy because I got that opportunity. It was and is mine. Such privilege I was given to be all part of the greater picture in God's kingdom. True, it's absolutely heart breaking some days when I wake up and I'm not in my mosquito net. Those are the rough days, when I call my children, talk to them for hours, get off the phone and remember that I am days of journeying away from them.
But then there are the good days. The days where I look at my pictures and think, "wow! Bless. Bless it all for such a time as this."
It happened. It really happened
And that's beautiful. And worth it. And the reason why I'm trying to smile. I mean I have at least 27 reasons to do so. Plus it is a lot harder to frown anyway.
In the sad, although it may be hard, I'll try to press forward with that smile, because in the end, it truly. Did. Happen.
Lots of bless!
