It's better to have no money but have experience be your currency than for you to be rich, ignorant and lifeless.— quote
In 17 days, I'm going back to my second home again for the third time. India, for periods here and there, felt like my first home because of all the family I had made and all the experience I had. It has that way about it, where the people there reminded me of my home family with all the traits that come with home life: love, trials, frustration. I just rounded off my third full year back in America and in February of next year, I will have known my kids in India for 4 years.
It truly is wild to think that 4 years ago they weren't around because they have been so crucial in the most recent years of my life. I don't say thank you enough to the Lord for allowing me a place in their intricate life and for the opportunity to be loved and cherished in this capacity. I think I'll say thank you more and maybe begin to see the blanket of blessings drowning me because of them.
Many people are surprised that I'm going back for the third time. They say, "you must really like it there huh?!" To which I reply, "oh yea, best year of my life." I really want to give a whole speech on how drastically such an experience has made me who I am today, but then I remember that most people don't really have the time nor the desire to hear the entire story. I've learned to be ok with that.
I accomplished my goal and little "plan" for my life since I came back the first time. I spoke with the Lord and told Him how I wanted to come back to America for the purpose of getting my nursing experience and paying off my loans. Those were my two biggest goals. I knew I wanted to do this mission work overseas thing for the long term, and I didn't want to be held back because I had to pay off school loans for the rest of my life. Not about that. But the funny thing is, the Lord orchestrated my life in such a way, even with the occasional bump in the road, that this dream became a reality in seemingly record time for the amount of debt I had.
Sure I'm broke now, and never had such little money in my working life and it truly makes me depend on the Lord for supplying my needs from His unseen treasury; yet, I'm ok with that. I have a sense of purpose at my young age that many don't feel they have by the time they're fifty. I've lived in many ways, more than others, but have so much more to experience; and that's the exciting part. And it's this experience that has truly shaped me from the Kameron of 2014 to the Kameron of 2018. My world travels and have opened up the doors of life with abundance and shown me that there are plenty out there who need to know Jesus. And not just know Him, but know Him and be ready for the world's last closing events. They shall be rapid ones as we are told. Therefore, I have grown ok with not living the typical American life where it can be very easy to find comfort and security in what one can do for oneself. I think I'd rather live my life trying to do what I can for those who need it and counting on God to do what He does for me, for them, and everyone else.
My goal for this next stage of my life is to be more serious and work on my relationship with Him and always stay within His will even when I'm broke and living from experience to experience. Whether this next stage has me on a high of life or in the drudges of my darkest times, I want to look up and still be able to see Him. I want Him to be proud of me and me to always call Him my Father. I want to always have my name in His Book of Life and hold tight to my crown, for nothing in this world is worth losing out on that. And you can take that to the bank.
So here's to no more loans, being broke in the world but rich in the Lord and the experience of being loved by an all powerful and all amazing Father. I'll toast to that.
Hobey ho and here we go.
Kam
Saturday, December 1, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
Uncertainties
The following is a past blog post that I never completed until now.
"We must be content with God's no's just as much as we are content with His yes's" -- Momma Jeri
The last couple of weeks and months have been an absolute world wind of emotions and events. Every time I call Ella, something else has happened at our little jungle haven. More of the kids have moved on to bigger and sometimes better things. It's uncertain what exactly they will be doing.
At the moment, I also don't really know when I'm going back to India. Not that I'm not going at all; that would be almost suicide. But with all the uncertainties surrounding my kids's locations, I have had to reconsider how much time I would need to actually go see them all.
A couple of months ago, I put in another request for an additional two weeks time to make my "across the world" trip. I awaited approval, moved the dates around a couple of times, and then waited some more. My official requested time was two extra weeks tacked on prior to my original departure date. Ella wants to come back with me, and I promised her that I would.
I waited some time from my nurse manager who makes the schedule to get back to me. I remember getting up in the middle of the night just to check online if the time had been approved, like a kid waiting for a snow day to appear. I began to get obnoxious after waiting for some time. I sent my scheduler some emails asking when the days were going to be considered. I just wanted to know what to do and whether or not I needed to buy my ticket. I needed a yea or a no so I could stop biting my nails.
After some weeks, she finally sent me an email that my nurse manager would have to approve it herself. The next day, my nurse manager called me into her office. The conversation wasn't long and I won't go into detail about what we discussed. In the end, she couldn't give me the extra time I requested because we were understaffed and it was bad timing. Even though I didn't agree with her reasoning, I said my respects and left the office.
I was angry, of course, because I didn't get what I wanted. After talking with some coworkers about it, they told me I could go through the grapevine to get some of the time back. Their original idea sounded great, a little shady, but great. However considering its nature and how it could affect me at work, destroying my integrity, my character, the character of Christ that was I was trying to emulate, I decided against it.
Instead I wrote a letter. It was sappy. I chronicled some highlights of my time there. I told a story, shared a joke and tried to pull at the heart strings of my boss and have her see things in my eyes.
After much prayer, soul searching, and weighing all my options, I sealed the note in an envelope and slid it underneath the door of my manager and walked out, not looking back.
Much like Jesus wants us to pick up our cross, follow Him, and not turn or even look back into the lives we just left. I'm 100 percent sure that what He has in store is better for us than the life we used to live. Yes there are some very big uncertainties about where he is going to lead you and what He is going to require of you; and yet, I was once uncertain about if this year overseas was a good idea. Many were. I was proved wrong of course. It was worth every leap of faith and ounce of trust I mustered.
And so now I have to wait again.
What is my boss going to say? Will she be merciful and let me have the extra time for the sake of some long lasting joy that I will forever cherish? Or will she be merciful and do a greater work in not letting me go because there is something else God has planned.
Not certain. But I'm learning to be ok with that.
Here we go.
Kameron Carter
"We must be content with God's no's just as much as we are content with His yes's" -- Momma Jeri
The last couple of weeks and months have been an absolute world wind of emotions and events. Every time I call Ella, something else has happened at our little jungle haven. More of the kids have moved on to bigger and sometimes better things. It's uncertain what exactly they will be doing.
At the moment, I also don't really know when I'm going back to India. Not that I'm not going at all; that would be almost suicide. But with all the uncertainties surrounding my kids's locations, I have had to reconsider how much time I would need to actually go see them all.
A couple of months ago, I put in another request for an additional two weeks time to make my "across the world" trip. I awaited approval, moved the dates around a couple of times, and then waited some more. My official requested time was two extra weeks tacked on prior to my original departure date. Ella wants to come back with me, and I promised her that I would.
I waited some time from my nurse manager who makes the schedule to get back to me. I remember getting up in the middle of the night just to check online if the time had been approved, like a kid waiting for a snow day to appear. I began to get obnoxious after waiting for some time. I sent my scheduler some emails asking when the days were going to be considered. I just wanted to know what to do and whether or not I needed to buy my ticket. I needed a yea or a no so I could stop biting my nails.
After some weeks, she finally sent me an email that my nurse manager would have to approve it herself. The next day, my nurse manager called me into her office. The conversation wasn't long and I won't go into detail about what we discussed. In the end, she couldn't give me the extra time I requested because we were understaffed and it was bad timing. Even though I didn't agree with her reasoning, I said my respects and left the office.
I was angry, of course, because I didn't get what I wanted. After talking with some coworkers about it, they told me I could go through the grapevine to get some of the time back. Their original idea sounded great, a little shady, but great. However considering its nature and how it could affect me at work, destroying my integrity, my character, the character of Christ that was I was trying to emulate, I decided against it.
Instead I wrote a letter. It was sappy. I chronicled some highlights of my time there. I told a story, shared a joke and tried to pull at the heart strings of my boss and have her see things in my eyes.
After much prayer, soul searching, and weighing all my options, I sealed the note in an envelope and slid it underneath the door of my manager and walked out, not looking back.
Much like Jesus wants us to pick up our cross, follow Him, and not turn or even look back into the lives we just left. I'm 100 percent sure that what He has in store is better for us than the life we used to live. Yes there are some very big uncertainties about where he is going to lead you and what He is going to require of you; and yet, I was once uncertain about if this year overseas was a good idea. Many were. I was proved wrong of course. It was worth every leap of faith and ounce of trust I mustered.
And so now I have to wait again.
What is my boss going to say? Will she be merciful and let me have the extra time for the sake of some long lasting joy that I will forever cherish? Or will she be merciful and do a greater work in not letting me go because there is something else God has planned.
Not certain. But I'm learning to be ok with that.
Here we go.
Kameron Carter
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