Sir Kam 1, Enemy 1

"Parents and authority, take the time to listen to those underneath you. You may just find that you were even slightly wrong the whole time"

A shout out to parents for their difficult job of raising kids. A shout out to kids who have to bear it all when their parents make a mistake it raising them.

Being in authority is hard. Probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. Being a boys dean of kids who are pretty much your age is also very difficult. But how it has been such a growing experience.

Things have been a little more relaxed here on the compound and it has caused some problems for both the girls and the boys. As well I have passed the honeymoon stage with the kids, meaning that I no longer think they are perfect little angels, lacking flaws. We all have our flaws. They boys have been late to different functions recently, mainly evening worships. This would normally not be a problem; however we have been doing choir for about a month now and we have had limited time to practice every day (30 min) all that we know. Being late to this especially wastes our choir director's time and upsets her and prevent its from really doing anything productive.

One of the reasons of being late is because sometimes the boys play football late, and then they can't get ready in time for the worship. They have an hour to take a bath and eat and put on new clothes but sometimes they are unable to accomplish that in the time they are given. Sometimes however, work goes over time, and so they play over time, they don't get ready in time, they're late to our practice, they eat during study hall, they don't study, and it just continues.

So I've been getting on to them about being better stewards of their time. At first they were doing ok when the first punishment was given. Then they would fall off the wagon. Then they would get back on and then fall off again. Kinda up and down and our choir lady was getting fairly annoyed and upset.

So I began to threaten some of their free time with the intention that they would be more on time if football playing was on the line. It kinda worked. The whole time I felt like i was giving plenty grace and mercy.

But then they fell off the wagon again. And I saw defiance starting to arise

So this time I gave the full ultimatum: because they couldn't eat their food and get ready on time in that hour and balance their time, they wouldn't be able to play football for a week. Seems a little harsh.

Even though not all were fully guilty, the punishment was universal. I did this with the intention of having someone step up to the plate and lead the boys to get their stuff done because I don't want chaos to ensue when I leave.

Well as you can imagine, they didn't take it very well. After I finished talking, they let their opinions out about the nature of the situation, the punishment, other things, how they weren't going to obey and pretty much more plans of rebellion as a result of this punishment. I def don't agree with the last part

However, in it all their were some points made in it all: I couldn't punish them all because all weren't guilty, I didn't give them enough warning, I should have given them another chance, the punishment didn't fit the crime, they were late because sometimes they were late coming back from work which is why they played later and were thus late to everything else, etc.

Some points were valid. Others I didn't think so. In the end I still listened.

For I think it can be very easy to let power cloud judgment and skew a decision that is made. In other cases, sometimes, parents and authority are wrong and we make mistakes.

Even though I didn't believe in the spirit of rebellion as a result of the punishment, I did consider their last appeal.

One of my boys suggested that I didn't give them enough warning before giving a punishment and that I should allow them to prove themselves. So I would give them my watch and they would come up from playing on time, and everything else would work itself out.

I listened and told them I will consider their appeal as they very angrily left and griped and moaned concerning everything.


I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about how Jesus give grace and mercy. And I'm wondering in what places have I made a mistake. In what places was I right. In what places were the kids being kids and in which cases were they being adults. It what place was I an adult and in what place was I a kid.

So many questions. I'm considering their proposition and even made a flow chart of the possible outcomes of this scenario.

I've been praying a lot.

Why is this all do hard!?

This story shall be continued. The outcome of it all shall be told.

May Jesus be in the center. And may God help us all.

Alabanza

* sorry I didn't spell check. I was in a rush *


Kameron Carter

Mosquito Nets

"How desperate are we for Jesus? Are we lying to ourselves by saying we're seeking him with all our hearts, but not even looking in His direction?"

I'm very thankful I have this pop-up mosquito net. It was probably the most useful thing I received before I came to India. It keeps the mosquitos away; and it does a good job about it too. I don't fear the diseased creatures breaking in during the middle of the night because there is a zipper door. I have enough space and its kinda homey. I feel safe.

I enjoy watching the mosquitos from the outside, trying very desperately to get inside and suck my blood. They fly right outside the mesh, injecting into air, for they can smell my blood, but are unable to get close enough to get the prize. It's kinda sad.

To watch them struggle. "Your desperation is serious" I think.

Then it came to me...

Are we trying very desperately to reach an unattainable God? This is more in a sense that we are trying and trying and flying around this net trying to get the prize. Trying to get to God. Trying to get His love, feel His warmth, receive His blessing trying to know Him. But we can't.

Two things come to mind: are we even looking in the right direction? And has the door to Christ been open this whole time but we've placed this barrier that blinds us to the entrance, open so wide?

When we search for God, it can be so easy to start off searching in the wrong direction. Some may seek Him in things, or in feelings, or even in himself/herself. Beliefs have arisen that there is a little bit of God in each of us, as if we ourselves are God. And oh, how so dangerous.

And so, we search for God. We look under rocks, around mountains, behind Him, around Him. We're simply looking in the wrong direction. Instead we should be opening His word, or closing our eyes to pray, asking Him to reveal Himself. No I don't believe that He will reveal all of Who He is because then we'd die. But the word does say that we shall find Him if we seek him with all our heart. And I think that's more than praying to God once and waiting for something to happen for 5 min. It's more than reading the bible a couple of times and thinking, "well I got nothing from this book of hieroglyphics and confusion." I think it's more like taking a break from all your daily plans and sitting at home, alone, and waiting for God to whisper. Or begging him to please open up his mouth and speak, praying for real upon your knees until they blister. That's at least getting a good start.

Or are we searching God while at the same time putting up our walls or our nets, our webs and our screen doors. And the actual entrance to get to God is easily visible around the corner. And if we just take the time to look around the barrier we have put up or simply take it down, then the way to Jesus will just be there. Kinda like if I unzipped my mosquito net, leaving the entrance to blood paradise open for all mosquitos to enjoy. I think the mosquito would be able to find its way easily.


Are we finding our way? Can we simply get past the barriers and distractions. Can we place it all at Jesus's feet? Can we put it behind us? Can we take it, douse it with gasoline, and set it ablaze because it's just so in the way?

Can we let go and let God, so they say?

I'm not sure if I have. I think to my self as I lie here in my mosquito net. Have I been here in this life, in India, for this long and am still having trouble finding God.

Truth of the matter is that He's already found me but we know that even a drowning person in clear danger can resist help if they want to.

So my appeal to myself and to you is this: take the time to discover God. Don't just be one who knows about Him. Be someone who knows Him. Be the person that when asked about Jesus, you are readily able to say and explain with conviction that "Jesus is everything."

Take down the walls if they're there. Turn in the right direction if you're turned around. Finally, be like the mosquito and yearn earnestly for blood.

For Jesus blood, and everything else that come with it.

Bless.

The Countdown

"Spend more time focusing on the present rather than the future. It's not like you'll ever reach tomorrow. When you get there, it's called today."

They always say the coming is a lot faster than the going. You know, like coming home from a long trip or finishing the other half of a good milkshake or burrito. It starts off slow but then finishes fast.

That's what I feel is about to happen. Not that much of this experience has been slow. One day I get here and don't know anyone; the next day, I'm laughing with my kids, going to church and sabbath school, and eating with them like this is simply my life.

It feels like yesterday we had that storm that blew down half of the bamboo houses on the campus; and it has to have been last week when little obi was born or when I held Samuel months after he almost lost his life when his mother made a grave mistake.

My kids are actually my kids now and this is my home. No place is perfect. I still miss having a fridge to keep my food fresh and a couple days ago I found a colony of ants mating underneath my pillow; but that just comes with being in a jungle.

We almost flipped in the jeep off a cliff into a rice field a weekend ago. Fairly normal. It was crazy to see how calm we all were as the tire slid slowly slowly (casni casni) to the edge. We were singing "Jesus Take the Wheel" to commemorate that moment. But even times like that seem so distant and so close.

I'm sure these last 3 months are going to go sooo speed only. Don't tell!

I've had a countdown pretty much since I got here. Especially since I realized how hard it was going to be to come back. When I open the app and see the time trickling away, I cry a little inside.

Today one of my oldest kids suban and I were riding in the back of a truck on the way back home and he mentioned how beautiful the setting sun rays were in the trees. Like a forest on fire, dancing with such emotions.

"This is my home" I thought. A little jungle in the middle of a piece of India that most people don't know about.

It's this place where I've been able to talk with my boys late at night about nothing, tell them about my friends back home, make jokes; and you realize, man I've got some good kids. They really are the best

I know I pretty must only talk about my kids when I write, but they are where most of my memories are.

And I'm making some more during the last months, during the last nights in the jungle, during the last tiresome days visiting patients, the last times laughing like none other, the last times of living like this. It's quite something.

We'll make memories and so much more as we count back down.

5...4...3...2...1

Alabanza


Kameron Carter