What It's Like to be Completely Scared

I have much to be thankful for. I received not a one, not a five, but a ten year visa from the Indian Embassy, which seems unheard of considering the politics surrounding Christian/Muslim/Hindu relations. I got my new permanent teeth that I have been waiting for for over 2 years (one does feel a little wobbly). I received my Approval to test yesterday and scheduled my test for the 4th of February. I bought my ticket for India and will be leaving on the 15th of Feb and coming back in Dec, as long as I pass my boards. I got some immunizations up to date and was scared out of my right mind by the PA who pretty much told me I need to be weary of dying of various diseases and need to buy ALL the meds. All that on top of studying for my NCLEX itself is a lot to swallow in a day. Overwhelming, definitely. Scary, impeccably. Life-changing? Every morning is life changing. Every day presents with its new struggles, or the same ones. Every day, the devil is prowling. Every day, the world is changing. Every day, time as we know it lessens. The fears and unknowns, the ifs, ands, and buts, the longitudes and latitudes are all pointing somewhere. When we blink, we often lose track of where we are going. However, Christ's light shines fairly bright. Brighter than we think. It matters more of what fears and insecurities and trash we have piled in front of that light.

And so, I've decided to be a little reckless. I'm going to take the Word and shovel away the wall of fears and insecurities and meditate on the promises that ring as true today as they did yesterday, and the day before. Because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb 13:8), thats all I need to know that He will shelter, guide, shield, prepare, and embrace me. Not to believe that nothing bad will ever come my way; instead to go to the Lord with thanksgiving, in prayer and supplication, and make my requests known to Him (Phil 4:6, 7). He'll listen. I'll be alright. And He'll be there when I'm completely scared. And I believe I'm ok with that.

Hobey ho and here we go,

Kameron

The Send Off

Progress is being made. My visa was sent off to the Indian Embassy today to receive acceptance or denial; my transcript for my NCLEX was also sent off today for consideration by the Florida board of nursing. Nervousness is setting in. What if India denies my visa? What if I don't pass my boards. It's amazing how many questions and doubt can settle in even with our testimony of how the Lord has brought us thus far. The devil does a good job at what he does. And yet, God does an even better job at what He does.

With just the events of this past year, it is evident that the Lord is coming soon. It can't be denied or avoided. It's one reason I am excited to go to a country and share my experience with those who have never known or heard of the awesome Savior I serve.

I had a bible study last sabbath with my friend Girean. It was a study on how to give studies. I explained to her that I have found that one's personal testimony can be more of an impact than you think. And then I remembered the deep quote (that should go on a cat poster) from some deep person: "there are some people that only you can reach most effectively with the gospel." It may sound confusing. Read it again.... Pretty much I interpret it that your individual personality is perfect to reach that certain girl who has no faith in anything at all or that older gentleman who has ignored the teachings of Jesus for 20 years. The Lord makes divine appointments and sends us to reach those certain people. That certain someone. It's exciting. The plans the Lord has for us are astounding. We just have to be willing and ready to follow them. And so as I exist in the "in between time" I think about those people that the Lord is going to send my way: to say hey to, to hug, to listen to, to just be there for. I know there is much ahead. I'm just waiting for Him to send me off. And my roommate John is watching a documentary on birds in his onesie....

Alabanza

The In Between

Since life in India won't be here until about a month, I am in the "in between time." You may be wondering what is going on in this "in between time." Lots of stress I would say for a graduated nursing student about to devote 10 months of his life in a foreign country. After spending more than 3 hours filling out my paperwork for my visa, I finally sent off my application to the visa agency in Atlanta. Now the waiting game. I solicit your prayers that everything will run smoothly and that it will be accepted. Since the government is so particular, I had to be particular in how I filled out everything. We'll see

The other "in between time" is being filled with copious amounts of studying for my NCLEX test. Never have I been more nervous for a test in my life. The NCLEX will summarize everything I have learned and put it into one 6 hour test. Therefore, I have committed my daily life to at least 6 hours of studying every day besides Sabbath. I expect to take the test at the beginning of Feb, giving me a month to study and enough time to slowly saw my good byes to Southern. It's bitter sweet. And now the days bleed together.

Hobey Ho,

Kam

Black Male Nurse ready for India