The Bus

"What happens on the bus, stays on the bus. But I'll tell you what happened"

Our trip to Nepal was quite an experience. Juts getting there and back was enough adventure to write a book. Instead I will chronicle some of the things in this blog. 

If you travel by bus to Nepal, many things could happen. 

You could first off chase down the bus 12 miles down the road via taxi like in need for speed, except the star is a super cool cool Nepali man. 

You could travel about 10 miles on the bus and then stop, and a man gets on the bus with a goat. The goat could sit in the front of the bus for the remainder of the 15 hour trip and poop everywhere. 

You could be stopped by cops and then let go. 5 min later, you could be have a large strange vehicle pull up beside you. Then 3 men could mysteriously begin throwing bags and bags of something into the back of the bus. You could think they're drugs and then think you're about to be a part of one of those heists that you hear about 3 months after the crooks get caught. But chances are, they are just bags and bags of bananas. About 30 large duffle bag size bags of bananas.

You could experience a lot of creepy night stops on the way there and back, featuring many creepy men who you secretly fear may jump you. But then you remember you're a tall black man with facial hair and you've been practicing your scowl. 

You could witness a really intense verbal fight between an old and a young Nepali woman discussing a bag, or at least thats all you can understand cause you don't know 50 languages like everyone else. 

Then you might lose your nice jacket to a big open window. Along with the jacket, you could lose you phone charger, your aux cable, your head lamp, a phone, and an Internet stick, which both contain phone sims that are harder to get than cable signal from an antenna back in the 90s.

You could befriend all the creepy Nepali men by peeing with them on the side of the road, in the middle of the night, still thinking they may push you into a ditch and leave you to star in the movie Rambo 8 or something featuring 70 year old Sylvester Stallone and a black man, me. 

You could witness a lot of spitting which only furthers your dislike of the act. 

You could witness a mass exodus of goats in the road going somewhere with their owner at 330 am. (I'm sorry but where could you possibly have to go?)

You might watch a bunch of strange Nepali music videos (84 to be exact, that are all on someone's thumb drive. Who wants to watch 84 of these things??) that involve men grabbing women forcefully by the hips and pulling them close. The woman will rightfully pull away. Then the man will gracefully grab her hand and she will have a change of heart and suddenly fall in love with him. Then they will dance with perfect choreography as if they practiced somewhere or something and fall in love. They will kiss at the end and probably have children. That last part is implied. And this will be for EVERY SINGLE VIDEO. 

After going 5 months without any African American interactions, you could meet an African woman who for a second you thought was from America as well. But she might be from Mozambique... 

You could watch a cute movie in Hindi and not understand a single word but enjoy it nonetheless because there is nothing else to do on a bus at 10 pm at night except watch a bootleg copy of a movie where someone's head is in the shot for 50 percent of the time. 

And finally you could suffer from lack of space on the bus because the person next to you sleeps like she's sprawled out in a king size bed and is in your spot and hers. 

And this could all happen on a bus. In the middle of Nepal.

Wow.

#experience #nepal #bus #alabanza