30 days of ordinary memories

"The going is always faster than the coming"-- said nobody ever

I was sitting with my son cornel at church this past Tuesday during prayer meeting. This may seem like a casual statement but it's not. For about two weeks ago, cornel put up the biggest wall between us as a result of the football rebellion. He was the one that was so mad at me that he wouldn't even sing if I was there. He was so outspoken about the unfairness in the punishment and one of the leaders of the rebellion. I never thought we'd be able to sing hymns in church like that again.

Moreover, yesterday, Roben was curious about the safest water to drink since the water went out up here at the campus. He asked me for help and we went on a little adventure together looking for the purest water coming out of the mountain or flowing under the ground. It was fun. Just the two of us. I also thought this would never happen. Roben can tend to me the most stubborn of the boys and his distance he put between us after the fall out was the highest. Even after it took almost a month for things to become normal again, it didn't seem genuine. But then he started to open up again and now I've seen us come back together enough to go on excursions. He also likes to ask me how his hair looks. Ha.

I owe it all to Jesus and to answering the prayers lifted from this side of the world and from America. I thank you all for praying. For everyone finally, things are back to normal as if nothing happened.

But in these things returning to normal, I realized one terrifying thought: I have less than 30 days.

So much has happened in getting to these 30 days: my son Blessingson has been sick with malaria/typhoid or both. I've been a teacher, Dean, principal, nurse, and father again, I had my first death, many of my kids have left me one my one and many have come back one by one, I've held a lot of babies, I've rearranged my room, I've been giving pictures to my kids, I've been experiencing God.

And in a week, my friend Christian will be coming to visit. He's doing mission work in South India and will be coming to hang with me and my kids for a week. I think they will really like him and probably not want him to leave. It will be nice having another male my age who's also single and doing the same thing as me.

However, his visit is also sad; for when he leaves, I will only have 12 more days with my kids.

I don't even know what that's like. When I look through pictures with my girls and boys, I look at the dates of some of these memories and can't believe that they are truly that far back. "That happened in April?!" I always ask myself these kinds of questions. It's very strange to think so much happened in such a short time, and I feel like it didn't happen. I haven't been gone from America that long yet. I was just there studying for my NCLEX last week and preparing to come.

Coming back two weeks sooner than planned is also bitter in my mouth right now. I changed my schedule so I could come back for a nursing event and hopefully get offered a job right on the spot. (This would allow me save money, pay off loans, and come back home to India). I moved my ticket, spent all this money, cringed thinking i'd have to lose two weeks with my kids, just to get the chance to get this job in Florida. I applied for the position, just in time, and even was in contact with an HR lady to make sure I got everything in on time. Then she contacted me and told me that she went through my application and saw that I was a graduated nurse and that the event was solely for nurses in their last semester of school. She told me I would not be able to go.

When she told me that, I almost vomited. I still almost vomit. My teachers are in the process of fighting for me, however. We'll see if it works. Cause all I know is that if I don't meet my future wife in that two weeks early that I'm back, it will make returning even so much harder. And yet.... May God's will be done right?

Ella and my friend Cassie, told me to take pictures of the ordinary things recently: how This looked, how that looked, what teaching was like, what hanging with my boys was like, just all the ordinary things that have just become part of my day. They say it is these things I will miss the most.

I will miss waking up in my bed knowing I have to go wake the boys, which is like waking a bear. I will miss walking around campus early in the morning and saying "good morning" to everyone but "good evening" to ms Awon. I will miss my boys shenanigans like calling me "mrs. Kam" recently, and them calling my name but not saying anything when I respond, or telling me all these deep cat poster worthy quotes. I will miss eating with them and spending more time laughing than eating. I will miss their singing and them coming back from work in the afternoon, as if I'm their father waiting for them to come home. I will miss the girls yelling at me and getting mad because they have a stubborn father but I have bad kids. I will miss my kids being good. I will miss the girls wanting to take pictures with me. I will miss the boys asking me how their hair looks and if they look pretty. I won't have anyone to say "where are the girls" or to correct about not being modest and keeping their pants past their butts. I'll miss Saturday night games. I'll miss hearing the bell ring for worship. I'll miss going to go see the cooks in the kitchen. I'll miss having rice twice a day and potatoes. I'll miss putting my boys to sleep at night even though it's like trying to pull teeth sometimes, but then looking back on it thinking, wow I've got some good kids. I'll miss going to the village on the bike. I'll miss talking to the midwives and taking pictures with all the babies. I'll miss it all for sure.

So I'm taking pictures of these ordinary things. I'm taking audio of this simple life, of the causal day to day, of washing clothes, of worship, of the girls and the boys.

I hope to go through it all before I leave, when I leave, and after I leave. I know I'll cry. I know it'll be tough. But I think these pictures and videos of ordinary life here will carry me through.

Am I ready to come back? Well you know the answer is no. Am I excited to come back to the states? You know the answer is no. It'll be nice to have chipotle, hug JB who I haven't seen in over a year, and eat ice cream and drink almond milk. That will grow old quick and I'll want to come back.

For now I'm just clicking away at the pictures and making due with this last bit of time.

Pray for me because I'm not sure how to deal with this last 30 days.

Here's to 30 more days of ordinary memories.

Alabanza. Bless. Bless it all 🙏🏾. Hallelu.


Kameron Carter