The Spirit of Rebellion

"The act of rebellion is like falling on one's own sword. You stab yourself in the back and nothing good comes out of it."

That night at choir practice, 3 of the boys simply didn't come. This is right after we had our talk concerning their punishment in which I met much resistance. They had talked about not doing choir anymore, however I didn't think they would quit on the last week before our big last performance. I knew it was an act of rebellion and unfortunately, everyone suffered for it.
I thought I would talk to them in the morning.

I talked to my dad and my director both about the drama going on in the hostel. I was surprised when they thought that I handled the situation with wisdom, love, and a firm hand. They both told me to not let up on the consequence, especially since there was attitude concerning when I would tell them my decision and 3 of the boys didn't come to worship. So the decision was made. Don't back down.

The boys were up quite early that next morning; this was odd. I always had to drag the boys out of bed to get them anywhere. And now they were up... But they were conspiring. Little whispers rang clear through the wall.

"We should go play football now. He didn't say we couldn't play in the morning time."

This was indeed a true statement. I didn't mention anything about morning. That's because no one ever got up in the morning for it. They always slept. Still, would playing in the morning negate the punishment I initially gave?

I prayed about it all and decided to wait. I would only dig deeper into a decision if they decided to play.

I got up and walked around, as if I was just roaming and poked my head around. Some of the boys were exercising in the hostel. Others were at the far field in the distance, doing something. It was very unclear as to their activities. I didn't think I saw a football. I decided not to assume and think the best of my boys. They passed the morning test.

The rest of the day went well. It was a little awkward in class as there was still some anger and frustration. Then I went to work with the kids down at the river. We were collecting rocks. I did my share of work and had a great time with all my kids. Then I retired to my house for some other work.

Close to 4:30 pm the boys came up from work. They were excited, thinking they were finally up early enough to play football. When they asked about their punishment, I told them that everything was the same. Saddened and frustrated, they departed. I went back to my room for more work.

A little time past, and then I heard it again: the whispers of rebellion.

"We should go play football. This punishment is not fair and stupid. I won't follow. Come on guys lets go play" along with other things were said.

My heart began to weep at this moment. "Don't do it guys" I thought. Their decision would be completely reckless, selfish, and unwise. There was nothing good that could come out of this decision. I knew my boys better and truly didn't think they would go down this road.

It got quiet. Then I heard the moving of feet again. I looked outside and was completely in awe of what I saw. There they were, six of the boys walking down the hill with one of their balls. I had only taken one of the 3 balls they had in an effort to help them not be tempted to play. Yet it didn't work. My heart truly was heavy. "Why would they do this to themselves?! You're playing a game that you're not going to win. Let's not play this game!"

Some of my thoughts.

Just to be sure that all weren't guilty of this rebellious act, I walked through the hostel to see if any of the boys were there. There were two faithful. One was doing other non related work instead of exercising, while the other was exercising as I instructed. He also stopped as I instructed and went and took bath at the right time as well. I was very happy and I had a little bit of faith restored in my boys. However, my heart still hurt for the other 6, the ones who decided to choose sacrifice over obedience.

It made me think of me and Jesus. Very often I make the rebellious decision even though my heart and mind clearly know the way of the Lord. How their actions mirrored the life of a sinner and our loving God. Even though our God loves us from his bleeding forehead to his pierced feet, disobedience and sin have their consequence.

I went and informed my director about their behavior. I felt like a tattle-tell. He witnessed the rebellion as well with his own eyes. He wrote the names down of those who offended and told me he would deal with it.

When the boys returned at 5:35, I didn't say anything. Not only had they blatantly disobeyed my rules, they didn't even come up at the right time. They were 20 min late. A little late for my comfort. In the end they were on time for worship, but still my heart was heavy with the trouble that was about to come for them. I let them live in a state of ignorance for awhile. But I knew what was coming. I almost didn't want it to come.

The next morning after worship, our director called the boys together. My heart was thumping, for I felt something rough about to unfold.

I was called in about 20 min after the boys. When I walked in the room, I could feel and see the tension and anger in the boy's body language. I sat down. Then our director spoke

"The boys claim they are always on time."

I almost cursed out loud. But Jesus took the wheel. Seriously. I was not ready for that statement.

I gained my composure and spoke. I explained to Major that the boys's tardiness and inability to follow simple rules was the reason why we were having these issues. Therefore that was not even a good excuse or a valid one at all.

No one defended themselves, so Major Sir (our director) spoke. He told the boys that the problem wasn't about them playing games. It was about their attitude towards the games. The campus doesn't even support sports; however we have let the boys play for the time that we have. The games weren't necessarily a right but a gift.

"Why can't you play games for just one week. That's all we're asking. Can you guys do that?!" Major said.

"No, we can do it. We can not play if you tell us not to play." That was the voice of one of the youngest boys who happens to lack the most maturity and was the main voice who spoke out the past couple of days. However it was said with such attitude like "whatever, you won't take it away. We don't care. We're calling your bluff"

His response caught my attention. "Uh oh. Don't do that. One of the worst things you can do with authority when you're in trouble is to have attitude and be smart to the mouth. That will always end bad"

My thoughts

Major responded with a quick come back. "Then why aren't you following the rules? What do you want? Do you want us to take away all the games?! We can take away games completely. We can just say no more games from this point on. Do you want us to take away the games?!"

My eyes lit up as he said this. I knew very well that someone was going to respond with a wise crack comment and ruin it all. And as soon as this thought crossed my mind, it became reality.

That same boy, young, angry, and quick to speak, piped up with a, "Yea! Take away the games. We don't need to play at all. It's ok. Just get rid of them." All with the same attitude. But worse.

I ran my head into a wall in my imagination. "DUMB!!"

The other 5 boys were in shock and their eyes got wide. But no one said a thing.

Major broke the silence. "Alright. No more games at all. No more football, no more volleyball, no games, nothing! If that's what you want, then we'll give it to you. No more games from this point onward until further notice."

More silence as the boys seemed to take it all in. Then one of them finally said something. "Wait sir! Just take away football. We want volleyball and the other games. Just take football."

However, his words were unable to dig them out of the hole that my young son dug for them.

"It's too late" said Major. "Your friend has already spoken for you. We will give you what you want. No more games at all. You are dismissed"

The boys left with their heads down and anger in their faces and hearts. So sad and unfortunate to watch. Then three of the boys came to the table to talk to Major.

They asked if they could stop choir because they didn't like it anymore and weren't enjoying it. They didn't know if it was an option because I had told them it wasn't since we were doing it as our worship and they were so involved in it.

Major told them to talk to Alex, the choir director and then have her decide. So they left.

I was so mad. I didn't want them to be able to quit. I knew the only reason they wanted to quit is because they were getting back at me, and the choir was kinda the source of them getting in trouble. They dug and fell into their own hole and now they were trying to spitefully, with revenge and selfishness, take down everyone else with them too. Their decision was going to negatively affect everyone: the rest of the boys, the girls, our choir director, the church if we went to sing, and most importantly themselves. They were going to miss out on doing a service work for the Lord because of football. I understood they were upset but this behavior was beyond me to quite understand.

When we brought Alex into the office, she told us that the boys had just come and talked to her and she couldn't convince them otherwise. At first I was for them staying in the choir because it was going to severely affect everyone. However, in the end, we decided it wasn't smart to force them to sing, in case they had some plans to sabotage the songs or the event. Better to trust in God and have faith that angels would sing with us.

And so that's what we did. We let them have their way. We decided it better to pray and try and convince them to join then do anything by force.

Everything was sticky and sad. It was that moment that I felt a big wall divide the boys and I, and I wasn't sure how it was going to be knocked down, if it would be moved at all.

I'm not sure what's going to happen. I just know that I've just lost my boys and I'm not sure if I'll get them back.

Mercy.


Kameron Carter